What is Left After Sifting Sand

I welcome anyone who has ended up at this very place reading the words that I have typed. While I write this and push the button to post, I’m feeling slightly embarrassed. It was my full intention to make this a regular practice for myself to think out loud on this platform I created for myself about what goes on within and outside the therapy walls. I knew myself enough to note that these posts would most likely be inconsistent. However, if everyone’s timeline for inconsistency was a year, we would all be in a lot of trouble. For anyone with grand ideas and plans for themselves that never materialize, I am sending you the care that fails to come with cycle of ideas and inaction.

Other than the realization of it being a year since I posted last, the motivation to dump my thoughts here seems like a long time coming. In the past year there have been so many beautiful and tragic events that have occurred. The lasting feelings that I have about them is too much to contain in my body. Moving to a new city to the very city I now call home being destroyed by a once in a lifetime storm. Let’s start there.

Loss. So much loss. The decision to move and lose what I used to know. Beginning to settle into a new life and again losing a sense of what was. The loss of businesses, homes and loved ones. Bearing witness to the loss the people I meet with have endured. So much loss. This is the point in this post where I seem to be unsure as to how to proceed. As many others have been faced with that have lost so much. As to what to say, what to do, again, at a loss.

With all the loss that has surrounded everyone here in this beautiful city, the nature of impermanence comes into focus. Everything that we create, everything that we hold close, will one day leave us. The material world along with our inner landscape is destroyed and rebuilt. As the rebuilding of Asheville has begun and I have finally been able to land in my body and assess my inner landscape. I am left with a question. Does what really matter ever leave you? We give so much of ourselves to impermanent things. Think of the art, the stories you are drawn to. What we see is a reflection of ourselves. Healing occurs when we find in ourselves what we once have given to others. It’s inside you I promise.